If daily Colombian cooking were my priority, I would have built my life with a Colombian spouse. Colombian culture includes many social rituals centered around food, which, like everything in life, has its benefits and its disadvantages. Sometimes, we avoid direct communication or apologies by offering food or drinks instead. Thankfully, my family was almost entirely non-alcoholic, having perhaps two drinks a year—only for birthdays and Christmas.

Fairytale or not, I have wanted to marry ever since I watched my parents face life’s challenges together with “happiness”. One defining feature of my childhood was the time my mother spent in the kitchen. That was her love language; she rarely said “I love you” or “I appreciate you,” but she fed our bodies and souls with the best meals every day. Yet it came at a cost: the work fell heavily on her and disputes over who would clean, or why cleaning was delayed, became a recurring source of tension in our home.

I chose a life shaped by language, opportunity, values, and the rhythms that suit me. That decision reflects a deliberate preference for a particular blend of culture, career, and daily habits rather than a rejection of Colombian food or heritage. It simply means my priorities—where I wanted to live, how I wanted to work, and the kind of household I envisioned—led me to a different path. Putting Colombian cuisine at the center of daily life would naturally call for immersion: markets, family recipes, seasonal ingredients, and the social rituals that surround meals. To prioritize that fully would have meant anchoring myself in the country where those practices are woven into everyday life. By contrast, marrying an American reflects the life I intended to build—a career trajectory, a community, and practical choices that coexist with an appreciation for Colombian culture without requiring me to live strictly within it.